Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Of course I have a pirate flag
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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