the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
