She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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