Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
