If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
