he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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