so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I will be naked everywhere
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
