They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
