I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
