Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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