dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
don't judge my taste in strippers
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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