Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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