You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
