Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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