Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
