Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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