If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
