Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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