dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize