Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
