me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize