am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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