you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
