I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
