I must be too annoying 4 u.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
