And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
