Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
