i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
