separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
