Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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