all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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