I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
