If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
