Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
