To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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