Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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