1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
