I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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