Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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