You're so nebulous sometimes
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
