There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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