problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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