its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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