my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
