what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
