All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
