She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
