That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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