k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
