I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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