I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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