my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
