Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
