I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
