I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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