to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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