i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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