Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
