Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
