Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
