Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
