Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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