Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
