We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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