I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
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And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
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I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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