I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
