I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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