I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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